Story Pictures

Jury Summons from Marin County Superior Court to Me,

Report Date: Jan 29, 2010

How can you get out of jury duty?  More urgently, how can I get out of jury duty?

Let me count the ways:

• I asked Google how to get out of jury duty and its first page of search results returned articles laying out 74 ways.
• Then I asked Yahoo the same question, first page results: 38 ways.
• Bing, same question: 59 ways.

Add them up:  171 ways.   Who’s got time for 171 ways?  Not me – once I count past seventeen I lose track and have to start over (hey!  that’s number 172).

I’m going with the big three: 

1. Wear a beard. You might need to plan four or five months ahead of time – don’t worry, you can get a six month extension over the phone or by e-mail).  Go for a full beard like one of these (L to R):  Lt. Gen (Old Pete) Longstreet CSA. Herman Melville, John Muir – no sissy goatees).
2. Get educated, list your college degrees, preferably with an advanced degree or two.
3. Dress for gardening.

 

Beyond the big three, I have no story and I’m sticking to it.

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Photos from Wikipedia.